Aaaand we’re back!January 20, 2013
Rejoice hockey fans
I’m hockey’s BACK! After a prolonged writing drought NHL lockout, today we celebrate the long-awaited and triumphant return of MY BLOG the Sabres!
What you missed in Jessica-ville:
I sill reside in the HTH (Hot Tub House for you newbies) and I continue to claim Thing 1 and Thing 2 as my own, mostly because I haven’t found any alternate guardians for the
middle-school wise-asses little darlings. (Love you both!) I am in the process of changing back to my maiden name, which is frustrating a.) because I have to deal with the bureaucratic DMV and Social Security Office and 2.) I am plunging back down the alphabet, from “D” to “S” (although I see no harm in continuing to use my “D” last name when it suits me.) I am still running (some days better and faster than others), and in September I finished my third half-marathon with my best time yet!
I should probably also tell you that since you last heard from me I have been
cougaring dating a slightly younger man I (for purposes of internet anonymity) will henceforth call “Chaz.” I actually met This Chaz at a 2011 Sabres playoff Tweetup . (I didn’t mention him in that post because when he initially asked me out, I laughed politely declined. (In fact, my friend Sarah, who has since been dubbed “The Worst Wing Woman in the History of Earth” patted Chaz’s arm and whispered consolingly, “She’s MUCH older than you and she has TWO kids.” I asked her later why she hadn’t bothered to mention my shaky finances or my penchant for lateness.) Chaz can probably take some credit for my speedy half-marathon time since he is most often my running partner and, oddly enough, if you struggle to keep up with train alongside a younger male, you get faster. Who knew?
As I write this “Chaz”, Thing 1, and Thing 2 are all gleefully playing knee hockey in the HTH living room with a newly purchased Sabres mini goal. So, aside from the occasional foam ball to the head or privates, it’s all good in Jessica-ville. And, hockey, in all it’s glorious forms, has returned!
What we missed, Sabres-style:There was much high-fiving in Buffalo during the offseason when the Sabres traded perpetually-derided Derek “King of the Chip Strip” Roy to the Dallas Stars, where–if Buffalo sports karma has any pull with the Hockey Gods–he will likely go on to have a record-breaking, number-retiring career. In exchange the Sabres got Steve Ott, a
Twitter phenom gritty forward who scored in the Sabres’ first game of the 2013 season today, which pretty much ensures that he’ll be a bust (see: Bernier, Steve). But fear not, Sabres fans! GM Darcy Regier, whose contract was inexplicably extended yesterday, drafted some new guys, both with impossibly difficult foreign last names beginning with G. All of us in Sabres-ville have high hopes for the Gs! (And some big guy named John Scott who will somehow miraculously cure the chronically wimpy Sabres.)
Also, because the NHL and the NHLPA
had their heads up their collective asses subjected devoted fans to a months-long lockout, the Sabres decided to do us all a solid and…wait for it…give us 50% off at the Sabres Store for an ENTIRE WEEK! That’s right, why GIVE us FREE food and beer like the Pittsburgh Penguins or the Ottawa Senators? We’re all gonna come to the games and buy multiple $8 beers concessions anyway! Instead, help us help the cash-hungry league spend our money on Sabres apparel we haven’t needed to wear in almost NINE months. (FINE, I may have caved today and bought a new Sabres hoodie, but 50% off doesn’t happen every day people.)
Game 1: Flyers vs. Sabres
OF COURSE I religiously attend the home opener every year, but by the time the stupidhead league finally came out with the schedule, I already had plans for today (has it been so long that you guys have forgotten my elaborate social life?). Plus, this was a Thing 1 and Thing 2 weekend, and they sadly no longer have any interest in attending Sabres games. (I KNOW. Somewhere my real sons are surreptitiously watching Sabres games while their “mother” wishes they would play video games like the other boys.)
While I wasn’t at the FNC, I was doing the next best thing, which is watching the game with all of Twitter. (If you aren’t familiar with Twitter, skip to the end of this paragraph.) Earlier in the morning, during the pre-game excitement, I was TWICE mentioned as a worthy Sabres game-day follow in the same tweet as such luminaries as the Sabres PR guy and several media peeps. So as you can imagine, I was under ENORMOUS pressure to live up to this Twitter hype. No doubt I rose to the challenge, as evidenced by my insightful tweet after Steve Ott’s first period power play goal: “DEREK ROY WHO BEY-OTCHES!” as well as my emotional response to the TV closeup of the Flyers’ coach: “OMG I forgot how much I hate Peter Laviolette’s gum chewing face.” And after the Flyers scored two quick goals at the start of the second to take a 2-1 lead, I became the sage voice of Twitter reason: “Alright Buffalo, let’s take a deep breath and NOT PANIC for change, m’kay?”
I might have continued on this certain path to Twitter greatness for the rest of the game were it not for the fact that Chaz and I were slated to compete in our friend Mack’s annual Winter Olympics. Last year, due largely to my own ill-advised wardrobe
malfunction choice our two-person team finished the games DEAD LAST. (#embarrassing) Today, armed with sneakers and a well-thought out running outfit, I was determined to make amends. Consequently, I missed the Sabres’ victorious three-goal third period for what I thought was a higher purpose. But no! While we did not finish last this year, we were beaten by just about everyone, including Thing 1′s team. So I did what any not-so-athletic fun-lovin’ girl would do: I found solace in my deepening love affair with beer and in this awesome cake.